Recovered Memories
by Lerato
Summary: Xemnas sent Saïx to an important mission to Radiant Garden. Saïx will discover many things about Xemnas past and his own. Org XIII members starring, yaoi, romance, some angst and of course Lemon.


The very first fanfiction in English! Yay! It is possible thanks to the help of my beautiful friend "Guardian of the Sword" who made the translation of this fiction (my English sucks) and is going to help me with the next chapters and fictions.

However, even if I can't write English properly, I can read it very well, so I will reply your comments and reviews. Please, don't forget to review! Is very important to me know your opinion.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Disney and Squeenix do. But If I was, the game would be full of Xemsai-ness. So is a good thing, I guess.

Enjoy!

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**RECOVERED MEMORIES**

**Chapter 1**

_The Mission_

The immense brightness, his eyes and his mind were lost in that brilliance, and at the same time he forgot everything. There was no more pain; he even forgot the echo of a heart that no longer pounded, an echo that offered no peace when he paid attention to it. The light of the sky holding a promise was probably the only thing that eased that contradictory suffering of not possessing a heart, of not feeling.

The painful emptiness of insensitivity…it mattered little when worlds and lives were destroyed before his eyes, he felt nothing. He watched the hearts, his eyes moving towards the largest and purest, the heart of worlds. Small lights, like red fireflies, attracted by the most captivating light of the universe, all of them ascending softly before his expressionless eyes.

Once, his name had been Xehanort, and his first memories had been the face and teachings of his mentor, Ansem the Wise. But now, none of that mattered, the memories he still conserved meant nothing, and even less significant were the memories that had disappeared before he had awakened in a place called 'The Radiant Garden'.

How wise had Ansem been, abandoning the investigation? Back then, he had advanced greatly and the consequences had been practically irreversible. Why give up on something so important when there was no longer a chance to go back? If it achieved knowledge of each world's heart, and of the greatest of hearts, wouldn't any effect be something minimal compared to the power and glory of what would be discovered?

Considering how cowardice had overcome his teacher, and he being the most advanced of the disciples, he would not permit things to continue as if nothing had happened. Ansem the Wise from the Radiant Garden was indeed a coward. So he, surpassing the teacher, decided to overcome all barriers. Wasn't that the principal of all great discoveries? To go further than the imaginable…

To know darkness, as the key to supreme strength, light as an opposite force…all that fascinated him, and such was the allure that it inundated him and his companions, Even, Dilan, Braig, Ienzo y Elaeus, who would all end up consumed.

Consumed?... He asked himself. No. The end had come for all things, of people and how they remembered them. Darkness had arrived, yet also power. And of the heart and its beating, of feeling, was nothing.

He began to question himself. How wise had he really been, to have paid the highest price? Ultimately those were considerations that were no longer even worth making. But that knowledge about the heart, of its origin and destiny, about light and darkness covering the worlds and interacting with them, no doubt it would have cost him more than he could ever imagine.

The only thing that mattered was to complete Kingdom Hearts, which was the name that the ancient wise men had given to the heart of the universe, so that he could have his own. And his goal, being intangible and manipulating the power of darkness, was forming a new generation of complete beings, in all senses. For this, he gathered his companions and gave them new names, he taught them to use their powers in the way he had learnt to. And so, Organization XIII was born…

How wise had he been? How wise was he now, when there were so many questions left to answer? What was the purpose for the existence of the Nobodies, who were heartless shells? And the origins of beings such as he were what still intrigued him. How could they continue to conserve pieces of past emotions and human appearances, without degrading themselves into mere entities, like all who surrounded his castle? Because every member of the Organization, in one way or another, conserved the shadow of an emotion, if not a feeling.

Axel, for example, was devastated when Roxas abandoned the organization. It was as if he was missing something else, as well as his heart. Or Demyx, who clearly demonstrated copies of emotions such as fear or happiness…but he, the First of the Nobodies, felt nothing. Maybe the only shadow of an emotion, subtle and vague, was anger…

And he still observed his subordinates, surprising himself with their reactions. One of them without a single doubt was his second in command. Saix, ever since he entered as the first Nobody to have joined the organization and not having pertained to the original group of companions, had offered his deepest loyalty. No questions, no demands. He simply followed instructions accurately, with a profound faith in the cause.

He smiled. Saix, despite rejection from the five original members, soon began to climb the ranks. It wouldn't be too long until he showed them that he had as much strength as they. His powers stemmed from the moon, like the legendary were wolves, and shortly after he gained the nickname 'Berserker', similar to those mythical warriors entering euphoria before battle, inspired by their deity. Saix could be the fiercest in the Organization, the most unmerciful. But contrary to the taunts and furtive comments of his companions, he wasn't always wild.

He was extremely intelligent, astute. He knew what to say and how to treat his enemies and disarm them without the use of his sword Claymore, without invoking the power of the moon.

He smiled again. Saix was his most reliable man. The only one he would allow to address him face to face. The only one permitted to call him by his present name: Xemnas.

His name, how ironic. The anagram of his teacher's name, to be precise. The same that his Heartless took to build his own dream, a dream that allowed him to create a new Kingdom Hearts once the preceding one was sealed. When the bearer of the Key Blade came and destroyed the false Ansem, he lost a scattered half of his being, but gained a heart that fed the heart of worlds. If everything turned out the way he expected, that missing part would return to him and he would become complete now and forever.

"Xemnas, my lord."

Finally, that voice pulled him out of his reverie. Perhaps it was the only thing that could, and he secretly felt grateful towards his servant for it and at the same time caused him to erupt with questions on the reason why.

"What is it, Number VII?"

"I wished to know your instructions."

"Mh…" Xemnas didn't dare turn his face towards that of his subordinate's. If he did, he would inevitably look into his eyes, and then, he would lose himself in the yellow lakes of his second in command's gaze. "Have you been here long?" He said, staring towards Kingdom Hearts, as if wanting to reduce the importance that he actually gave to the fact of having the other man in the same place as he.

"I arrived…" The Berserker seemed to hesitate a moment, as if he didn't know how to answer, as if he hadn't an effective reply to offer his superior because he hadn't been bothered to calculate the time. He had only arrived there, and had stayed watching Xemnas until he had chosen a moment to speak. "…A few minutes ago."

Saix's voice sounded strangely wavering and Xemnas didn't let it pass. Was it possible that his second in command could contemplate him without speaking a word, for an extended amount of time…without moving a muscle, with so subtle a breathing that he was unable to hear it? Why did he do it?

"I have heard of interesting information arriving from the Radiant Garden. I am unaware of what importance it may have over the Organization, but it is essential that you go to investigate, since it could very well compromise the existence or loyalty of some of us. I…I've had enough of Axel and his nonsense."

Saix nodded lightly, as always, without answering or saying more than what was necessary.

"Number VII. Aren't you going to ask me why I'm sending you and not someone else?"

"I do not need to, my lord. Your reasoning should not have anything to do with me."

"Very well, I'll tell you anyway." Xemnas finally decided to turn around and face his subordinate, walking a few paces towards him. "In the place I am sending you to, I remember that the old Ansem found me. They are blurred memories, and surely irrelevant. Yet I do not want, nor intend to trust anyone else on this investigative mission because you are the best of my men, and I know you will tell me of whatever you find and that information will not leave either of us."

The blue haired Nobody was still. His face perhaps showing a vague copy of the facial expression of surprise. Xemnas smiled, in some way pleased. Saix finally bowed. He certainly, deep down inside his being, felt pleasure from the fact of Xemnas having that trust (and maybe confidence) in him, even though he hadn't belonged to his group of original companions.

"Thank you, master. I will not disappoint you. I will come as soon as I have news."

A dark portal opened and Saix bowed once again and disappeared through it. Xemnas remained silent for a while, asking himself why he was having these thoughts of Number VII. His Number VII.

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Oh, Saïx will discover more that is expected…

Don't forget to review!


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